It’s the end of the year, and let’s face it: The upcoming holidays are just a repurposed version of the festival of Saturnalia. It lasted for a week in December, houses were decorated in greenery and lights, and presents were given to children. Sound familiar? You bet it does! So, let’s add our own overlay with Santa Audio. I’m convinced Santa Audio exists, so I’m writing a “Dear Santa Audio” letter about what I would like to see in 2024.
Give the World a Universal “Squash Control.” Please give all consumer electronics devices with audio a Squash Control™, so that end users can destroy dynamic range all by themselves… power to the people! Then us mixing and mastering types can do whatever dynamics processing sounds good to us. The Squash Control could even have presets, like “I’m vacuuming,” “I live underneath a flight path,” or “I listened to way too many metal concerts in my youth.”
End the Need to Buffer When Streaming. Not all of us live in South Korea (median mobile download speed of 202 mbps) or Illinois (110 mbps). Some of us are in Mississippi (43 mbps), Vermont (39.7 mbps) or even Wyoming (37 mbps). For us, stre mi g ccan be inconsis…[reboot router]…inconsississistent. Can you bring us all fast broadband? Please?
Gently Remind the Industry that People Listen to Music, Not Sound. It’s great that there’s a never-ending pursuit of technology to deliver the finest sound quality possible, but maybe it’s time to think about what’s going to deliver the finest music possible, and AI/ML might be the ticket. For example, how about an “Enable Rhyming Dictionary” button so that as you write lyrics in your DAW’s notepad, you can click on a word and the program suggests potential rhymes? Or when you boot a DAW, if it senses audio and/or MIDI data coming into your audio interface, it defaults to initiating background recording that retains the last 10 minutes of whatever it finds? And I wouldn’t mind the equivalent of a spellchecker for MIDI data (“Are you sure you want this doubled note?”) so I can spend time on more creative pursuits.
Craig Anderton’s Open Channel: Speed Bumps in the Immersion Transition?
Excise Fancy Words That Exist to Make Excuses. Hey, we all know some gear causes delays. Saying “latency” instead of delay doesn’t magically cut the time in half, and since “legacy” just means “old stuff,” saying “legacy” won’t make people think, “I was upset there’s no support for this old stuff I spent thousands of dollars on not too long ago, but now that I know it’s actually legacy gear, I don’t mind at all!”
Stop the YouTube Madness. When I see YouTube ads pitching “Pro Chords,” I’m kinda confused. Are they “pro” chords because they have gigs and make money? Or are they “pro” chords because that term pairs well with “con?” Or was it a typo, and they meant “bro chords?” In any case, I don’t want to hit the bell and subscribe, nor do I want the free newsletter “Pro Tips for Making Dope Pro Music With Pro MIDI Dope Notes Arranged Like Pro Chords ‘n’ Stuff.”
Draw the Correct Conclusion From the Vinyl Revival. Let’s recap. You drag a rock through yards of plastic, do EQ abuse on the way in, hope your RIAA preamp can do equal and opposite abuse on the way out, and enjoy the record deteriorating every time you listen to it. Sure, the artwork, the ritual and the sensual experience compared to downloading music through a phone is truly gratifying—but please, make people understand that vinyl doesn’t sound “better” and “warmer;” it was the mastering. Digital material can be mastered the same way vinyl was mastered all those decades ago.
Lower the Price Needed to Expand Memory in Apple Computers. Sadly, we know even Santa Audio’s powers have limits. But we can always try, right?
Craig Anderton’s Open Channel: So…Who Needs “New” Mixes?
Leave the 20th Century Behind. Let’s wave a fond farewell to virtual mixers that look like they’re made from sheet metal—and have the same constraints. Faders could follow an arc, for more resolution with less height, and the inner part of the arc could have mute, solo, pan, polarity and other controls.
The channel’s meter could be in the fader itself—it doesn’t need to be separate. Why can’t low levels trigger blue lights instead of having green for everything below “almost too much level”? And if a channel clips, forget the little virtual clip LEDs. Let’s have the entire fader flash red! It’ll be hard to miss that.
May We Never Hear the Term “Consume Music” Again. Of course, I’m all in favor of using strategic, trendy words for creating engagement with influencers, and leveraging the low-hanging fruit of cornerstone content to optimize a collection of interactive, branded eyeballs for a 360-degree, snackable inbound experience.
Well, I hate to be Mr. Grumpy Downer, but we already have a cool term that’s passed beta testing and is being used right now by English-speaking countries all over the world! It’s called listening to music. So, please tell people to stop “consuming” music by shoveling Music McNuggets down their throats. Let them know that if they try placing their ears directly in the path of moving air waves, they can experience listening to music. It’s pretty cool.
