Have you ever wondered if your love of audio gear goes beyond just normal professional curiosity? Could you be… gear-obsessed? It’s a serious condition that strikes many in our industry. As a public service, I offer the following diagnostic quiz, which can help you ascertain your level of this dangerous affliction.
Which of the following would you choose for beach reading on your next vacation?
A) A classic novel by Dostoyevsky or Tolstoy
B) A murder mystery or thriller
C) The Sweetwater catalog
Which of the following most closely reflects your feelings about Avantone’s release of the CLA-10, a remake of Yamaha’s iconic NS-10 studio monitor that’s endorsed by Chris Lord Alge?
A) I could care less, I own Genelecs
B) No thanks, I have enough midrange in my life already
C) Yee ha! I’m getting two pairs! One for my studio and one for my living room!
Please choose the most accurate response to the following question: Is it possible to own too many plug-ins?
A) Yes. Rather than buying more, I need to thoroughly learn the ones I already own
B) Yes. I’d rather put the money toward a better microphone or mic pre
C) What? Are you freaking kidding?
Choose the best answer to finish this sentence: When I go out on a first date with someone, I generally like to discuss…:
A) …my date’s hobbies and interests
B) …my date’s job and family
C) …my Slate Digital plug-in subscription
How many NAMM product videos have you watched in the last six months?
B) A few, because they came up in product searches
C) I’ve seen them all…twice. Plus, Musikmesse and Summer NAMM
If you were part of a blind listening test comparing a UREI 1176 and a high-quality plug-in emulation, which of the following would you be more likely to say when asked for your opinion?
A) “Could you play that again? I want to be sure before I answer.”
B) “Wow, plug-ins sure are getting accurate these days.”
C) “Sounds like Revision D of the original hardware. Did you know the LN circuit and Q-bias pot were integrated into the circuit board when that revision was released?”
What’s your favorite day of the year?
A) Christmas or Chanukkah
B) Your birthday
C) The first day of AES
Which is your favorite king?
A) King Arthur
B) King Kong
C) Vintage King
Which of the following dreams is most similar to one that you’ve had?
A) You’re running through the city and discover you’re naked
B) You show up for a high school final exam and realize you haven’t been to class all semester
C) You’re lost inside a giant mixing console and are being chased by life-sized potentiometers
Calculate Your Score
You can interpret your results based on how many “C” answers you gave:
0: You’re normal
1 or 2: You suffer from mild gear lust
3 or 4: You’re obsessed
4 or above: Cut up your credit cards, immediately!
Don’t ask what my score is, I’m not telling.